she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
