I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
