Well apparently he's into motor boating.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
