Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Even my vagina gasped.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
