I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
