2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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