and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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