Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
