I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
