what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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