That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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