Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
