never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
