well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
