Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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