Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Houston, we have a blender
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Randomize
