the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
