and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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