Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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