She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
