Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
