i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
