whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
