just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
