Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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