I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
