so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
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