You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
