If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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