I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
