i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
