I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
BRING THE BAGELS
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