i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
