Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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