i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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