There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
