VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
