I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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