fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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