I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
bring money and cleavage
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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