his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Randomize
