who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
