Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
