Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
