I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
