Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
