glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
