remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
