he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize