i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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