I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
