highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
