Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
