she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
